


Amnesia

by Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts



Category: Avengers movies, MCU, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers - All Media Types
Genre: AND I LOVE THEM FOR IT, And Thor gets an Uru arm, Bruce Banner deserves all the hugs, Bucky Barnes Needs ALL THE HUGS, Canon Typical Violence, Clint & Tony are the worst, Gen, M/M, Post Endgame AU (nobody dies), Stucky is soft, The science bros are also very soft, friendship fic, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23331478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts/pseuds/Darth_Rainbow_Queen_Of_Coconuts
Summary: "Bucky knew Bruce, public and private Bruce. Knowledgeable and confused Bruce. Happy or sad Bruce. But distant Bruce? Friend Bruce? He'd forgotten that man. And it hurt to see him again." Or the one when Bruce gets amnesia after the Hulk swallowed a bomb to save the Avengers.
Relationships: (hinted) Steve Rogers/Sam Wilson, B Squared Squadron, Bruce Banner & Bucky Barnes, Bruce Banner & Clint Barton, Bruce Banner & Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner & Shuri, Bruce Banner & Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner & Thor, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes & Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes & Shuri, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Clint Barton, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark
Kudos: 14





	Amnesia

"Already back?" A masculine voice asked Bucky when he entered the common room of the Avengers tower. The supersoldier spun on his feet to find Tony at the door. He silently nodded. It's not that he had any issues with Tony anymore. More so so that he still felt a little awkward around the man when it was just the two of them. Tony was a good person overall. Intelligent. Caustic. Very sincere. Helpful. And supportive. And Bucky, well, Bucky took a lot from him. Nothing he could ever give back or replace. Yet the man allowed him to live in his house, eat his food and even profit of his expertise by having suits updated every now and then. How was he supposed to pay back so much when that very man almost died because of him? "Looking for Bruce?" Tony asked, lightly furrowing his brows when he sensed the silence dragging on.

"Yes. I tried the lab first and then his quarters. So I figured this would be my last shot before I actually go back to my room and shower." Bucky replied.

Tony nodded, something akin to fond but somewhat tense passing in his gaze. "I know where he is. But Barnes..." He visibly winced, lips slightly curling up in distate for a second. Whatever he was about to announce wouldn't be good. Bucky could sense it. "While you were undercover. The Avengers had to deal with a threat." Bucky nodded. It happened every now and then. Him being the Winter Soldier gave a lot more room to send him to missions the government would never recognize ordering, while the Avengers were the face of justice. Of course, he was welcomed to join when he was there and usually would just to taunt Clint. Doubting this was Tony's news, the sergeant simply nodded, awaiting for the other male to keep going. "Well, the Hulk swallowed a bomb to save us all and a couple neighborhoods." Bucky blinked a few times. "Don't worry, he's fine. Bruce, I mean. Thor found him in a pile of rubbles and extracted him before flying him to the Med bay."

Bucky nodded. "Thanks for the news." With that, he was already walking past Tony to get to the elevator. Pressing the button a little harder than necessary, he found himself mentally blocking Tony's voice as a buzzing ringed in his ear. Bruce was possibly harmed. Bruce, not the Hulk. Just Bruce. Regular human Bruce, who drank tea, played chess with Natasha, discussed art with Steve, downed beers with Thor and Clint using his enhanced metabolism to keep up but never winning, not even against Clint, Bruce who spent so much time in his lab with Tony and Rhodey or Peter or Ned or Shuri or Helen Cho, eventually Charles Xavier when he stopped by, Bruce who had secretly developed a full brand of BannerTech entirely funded by the salary he earned teaching at a second zone college because nobody else would hire him, his Bruce was wounded. Now, Bucky wasn't possessive. But he'd never had much. So when Bruce had claimed to be his, well Bucky had rolled with it. Bruce was his. Entirely. In ways Steve wasn't. Steve was his too. His best friend. Always by his side. No matter what. Steve was his person, his soulmate. Steve was his family.

Steve who was currently standing in front of him, brows creased and worry so visibly displayed in his gaze. "Buck?" He tried, making the supersoldier stop his train of thoughts to glance at him. "You keep calling the elevator buddy." Steve announced, calm but definitely worried. The supersoldier could sense the apprehension rising in his best friend's heart.

Bucky sighed and removed his metallic thumb from the button. "Sorry." He said softly. "Trying to get to the infirmary." Steve silently nodded, moving aside to give some room to his best friend. The elevator was probably big enough to accommodate them without Steve side stepping. But politeness was probably engrained in the blond forever. As he watched his best friend press the button of the Med Bay floor, Bucky smiled a bit. He was glad Steve would always have his back.

"You spoke to Tony right?" Steve asked, as the door tinged open. Bucky nodded. "Alright. Just be patient okay? I know it's hard. Trust me. But be patient." The sergeant frowned at the crypticwords, watching the doors of the elevator close. What could've Steve possibly meant? Patient? Was Bruce in a comma?

Instinctively holding his breath as he made his way through a large corridor, Bucky braced himself for a painful hit he suspected coming. However, when he opened the door to find a healthy looking, not even bruised Bruce Banner, he let out a sigh of relief, a grateful smile curling up his lips. "I heard someone was heroic today." He started, making his way toward Bruce.

"Mr Barnes." Friday's voice warned. "I'd advise against any sort of physical contact."

Bucky paused, looking up at the ceiling. He knew technically Friday wasn't there but it helped him make sense of the A.I. "Why?" He asked.

"I'm sorry..." Bruce's voice interrupted, sounding hesitant. "But, who are you?" He asked, as politely as possible, wringing his hands together. It was obvious from the other male's conniving tone that they knew each other. "I have focal retrograde amnesia. It's a psychogenic form of amnesia which means I'm physically completely fine, so is my brain. But, I am experiencing mild retrograde loss. Probably anterograde as well, judging by the fact that I am certain Tony visited at some point due to the forgotten tablet over there, but can't remember it. To me, you're the first person I've seen all day despite Friday telling me several people visited within last 24 hours."

Bucky nodded, having no issue to soldier on and push his feelings aside. Compartmentalizing did wonder in cases of anguish. "Right." Bucky held out his right hand to shake, glad it was the flesh one. "Bucky Barnes, I'm Steve's best friend." _And accessorily your lover but we don't have the time to unpack all that_. Not now. Not when Bruce simply needed a friend.

The scientist's smile seemed to brighten as he shook Bucky's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mr Barnes." He spoke, before letting go of the hand. "Any friend of Steve is a friend of mine. Out of all of us, he probably has the best entourage." That made the two chuckle. "Now if you don't mind me asking, are we good friends?"

Bucky nodded. "We, we are." He replied. "You're... One of the few persons who's never looked at me like I was a monster." He smiled. "We bonded over pretty dark humor and a liking for german surrealism."

Bruce grinned. "Ah yes, well my appreciation of horror stops there. Can't stomach much more. But glad to know it's shared. Watching Nosferatu with someone who gets it was one of my dreams as a teenager." He admitted, blushing a bit at the silliness of it. "Yeah, I was pretty lonely." He added, laughing through his own awkwardness.

"I totally understand." Bucky replied. "There's just something satisfying knowing someone else shares your vision." Bruce paused, lips slightly parted as he observed the male. The words. They just. They sounded exactly like what he would have wanted to hear. The supersoldier chuckled. "Anyway, I'm going to go shower and change now that I know you're okay."

Bruce frowned. "You came to find me right after your mission?"

Bucky nodded. "Of course. That's a—" He paused, letting out a bitter sigh. "That's a thing we promised each other. You know, this way if one of us needs comfort after a mission, they don't really have to ask, they just show themselves as they are. We're not that good at communicating you and I."

Bruce narrowed his eyes but slowly nodded. "Does that mean you need comfort?"

Bucky chuckled. A kiss would have probably been enough but odds were he wouldn't get one of those. "Seeing you and knowing you're okay are enough most of the time." He replied, perhaps too earnest before making his way out.

Bruce blinked a few times. He was left a little puzzled by the encounter. "Friday, is there something I can do to help Mr Barnes?" He asked. "Actually, what do I usually do to help Mr Barnes?"

The A.I. took longer than expected to reply. Bruce didn't know, but the reply was ran through Tony before it was given. "Usually sir," The voice finally came through. "you cook while he's in the shower and make sure he gets the proper calorie intake needed for a man of his condition. You've started after noticing neither he nor Steve were eating enough to fully respond to their needs."

Bruce nodded. That made sense. Steve always ate like he was rationing. Not too much. Not too fast. Always had to make it last. Sam had noticed too, obviously seen how often he asked Steve to polish his plate for him. "Huh, Friday, would you mind reminding me how much of my memories were lost?"

"Merely a couple of months sir. Starting with your return from Niger and moving in the tower to remain out of General Ross' reach."

"Hiding in plain sight." Bruce spoke. "Sounds like one of Tony's ideas."

"It was, indeed, Master Stark's idea." The A.I replied, a certain mirth in the voice's inflections that made Bruce chuckle.

"Very well." He stood up, a shiver running along his spine as his bare feet came into contact with the spotless white porcelain tiles on the ground. "I am allowed to leave the Med Bay, right?"

"Yes sir. You've been cleared." The A.I replied.

Bruce nodded and directed himself to the doors. "Friday, would you mind telling me which floor hosts the communal kitchens?"

"Not one bit sir. Just step inside the elevator, I'll make sure you get there."

"Thank you." The good doctor replied before doing as he'd been told.

~*~

"Partial anterograde amnesia has to be temporary, right?" Tony asked, entering the kitchen and sitting on the steel countertop.

Bruce sighed deeply, contemplating admonishing the other man about how unhygienic his bum on such a platform was. But at least Tony had pants on. Bruce was quasi certain his best friend would retell him a story where he wasn't wearing any, were he to point it out. "I'm not that kind of doctor." He replied instead.

"You dropping out of med school after your second year means that you gotta have some sort of knowledge, Doctor Banner." Tony replied, grinning.

Bruce rolled his eyes at the reply, smiling a little. Then the scientist in him kicked him, conjecturing, and as his brows furrowed, the smile faded. "Normally, I'd say yes. The amnesia could be temporary. But seen as it's coupled with retrograde amnesia that goes way prior to the incident that caused the anterograde one, there is no certainty. Especially with my unpredictable physiognomy."

Tony silently nodded a few times. "Well, first step is figuring out the time lapses of your short-term memory. No offense but I don't want you wandering in the labs with no idea what you were doing there."

Bruce hummed. "I don't think I should head outside or down there until it's figured out. I owe it to people to keep them safe and minimize the risks as much as possible." He smacked his friend's hand when Tony reached for a melon dice.

"Hey now, I always wash my hands before I leave the lab, you know it."

"Yes, I do remember that fact. But this, is not for you." Bruce replied, adding the freshly sliced fruits to a bowl filled with tomatoes and feta.

"You're gonna hog the food you prepare now? Oh how amnesia has changed you Bruce. Would you truly let the super geriatrics burn down Pepper's kitchen in an attempt to make something edible out of your stinginess? Or will we all grow fat from eating takeaway?"

The scientist snorted. "Quit being such a drama queen, you're rich enough to hire a chef." He replied. "But I think I've made enough miso soup for everyone anyway." Bruce added before poking at a large cooking pot.

Tony got back on his feet, moving past his best friend to lift up the lid. "It does smell good."

"It's greens and tofu." Bruce replied grinning.

"You psycho." The engineer replied, putting the lid back on. "You know what? I'm getting desert, it's gonna be ridiculously fat and creamy and maybe I'll get extra whipped cream." He replied, walking out of the kitchen to get his phone and order take away.

~*~

"Hold up, why do they get an extra aesthetic salad?" Clint asked, raising an eyebrow as Bruce put a large plate between Steve and Bucky and winked at the latter.

"My God Clint, so impolite, respect your elders." Tony cut in, feigning to be offended with a huff.

"You still can't have any." Bruce told Tony.

The engineer narrowed his eyes. "I ordered chocolate truffle cake. With whipped cream. And I'm throwing in gummy bears with proper gelatin and maybe even some canned custard."

Bruce chuckled. "What are you? Six?" He asked, taking a seat next to lab partner.

"And a half, please. The half is very important for children." Clint added, grinning. Natasha chuckled. And soon the conversation took a life of its own, where laughters were discreet but heartfelt. Dinner passed with a pleasant blur, where conversations lulled without ever truly dying and where silent didn't feel heavy. Bruce even took a slice of truffle. Though he declined the glass of Prosecco that came with it for the rest of the team.

Steve volunteered himself for dishwashing duty, Clint and Tony eagerly said they'd come with upon noticing there was some salad left. They'd eat it in the safety of the kitchen, knowing Steve wouldn't rat them out. Maybe have an extra slice of cake on top of it, convince the soldier to join them. Eat good food and corrupt Steve, a bonding activity for Tony and Clint, truly.

Natasha bid them all goodnight, offering a kind smile to Bruce as a thanks. Not for the food, more so for the warm feeling that came with homemade meals and company that felt like family. He didn't tell her it was nothing, not knowing what it meant for her. Instead he just nodded, a faint blush on his cheeks.

"Why did you cook?" Bucky asked, frowning a bit. "You should be resting."

Bruce offered a fond smile. "And here I thought you'd be grateful."

"I-" The back of the supersoldier's neck heat up. "I am. Really." He replied. "It's just... It's important that you rest."

"I rested all day from what I've been told." Bruce replied. "Besides I'm fine. Friday said it was something that helped you. I wanna be helpful to the team. I wanna be helpful to you. No matter how little I, Bruce Banner, can do. I gladly will. I wanna be helpful."

Bucky let out a soft breath, smiling at the earnest kindness of the man seating a few feet away. What he would've given to cross the distance and press his lips against Bruce's and run his fingers's through the messy curls with silver hues. God, it had been less than a day and he already missed his boyfriend. That Bruce was nice, of course, caring, obviously, but just a little too out of reach, too distant, to be pleasant. That Bruce probably wouldn't let Bucky press himself against him as he cooked and be completely unbothered by the kisses peppered along his neck. He liked it, just how hyper focus Bruce could grow when it mattered to him. How he inhabited his body with confidence and grace. It was such a pleasant contrast with the shy man that wringed his hands together when he couldn't fiddle with his glasses. Bucky knew Bruce, public and private Bruce. Knowledgeable and confused Bruce. Happy or sad Bruce. But distant Bruce? Friend Bruce? He'd forgotten that man. And it hurt to see him again, sitting across from Bucky, so close yet so incredibly far as he curiously looked at him while he held onto a mug with 'all you need is love' written on it. Except instead of the actual word love, it was graph formulas that formed the letters 'L,O,V,E'. It was dumb and an inaccurate equation for love, but Bucky had thought it was pretty smart and bought it for Bruce nonetheless in a tourist trap somewhere in the U.K. Bruce had loved it. Still loved it apparently. "It's a nice bunch of equations you've got there." He finally said, breaking the silence as he gestured to the mug.

Bruce chose to chuckle instead of trying to explain the difference between equations and formulas. "Not as beautiful as Dirac's equation but they're pretty neat, aren't they? Apparently it's my favorite mug according to Friday but I don't remember buying it. Tony says it's not from him but won't tell me whom got it for me." He sighed softly. "I doubt anyone think of me that way though. Who would even want—" His eyes fell on Bucky. "Ah, sorry to bother you with my inner turmoils. I'm fine, really."

Bucky nodded tight-lipped. The reminder that Bruce was now keeping him at arm's length again, merely allowing others to peek through his protective walls, heavily downed on him. "Not that you're not fine, but if it so happened that you actually were, not fine, it'd be completely okay. And I wouldn't mind listening to your woes. You probably don't remember, but you listened to mine when I felt like there were some things I simply couldn't tell Steve." The scientist's lips curled up. "Of course, neither of us is that kind of doctor but I had to offer." Bucky added, grinning when Bruce chuckled.

"I wonder how often I say that for it to be a trademark sentence." Bruce hummed, thoughtful.

"Not as often as you mention your seven PhDs." Bucky replied, chuckling softly.

Bruce groaned, running a hand on his face. "Am I the annoying prick who mentions he went to Harvard?"

Bucky shook his head. "Nah. You didn't even like Harvard. That's why you transferred to Penn State where you fell in awe with Einstein and decided to turn your wardrobe purple, like he did his grey." He let out a short laugh. "Which is honestly a period your aunt Susan should've documented a lot more for posterity."

Bruce blinked at the unexpected accuracy. He hadn't told anyone since... The scientist frowned. He hadn't told anyone. Period. Obviously Jen knew because she'd spend some time of her summer holidays with him, ergo saw the purple button ups. But, even Betty didn't. It was so inconsequential that he hadn't bothered mentioning it. Who cared about his story, really? "We..." He shook his head. "We must be really close." He rasped out, before clearing his throat.

"We," Bucky paused. Then sighed. "we are. Or I like to think so. We don't have that much history together, but we trade bits of our respective stories and try to create a couple memorable memories here and there. It's..." He shook his head. "It helps. At least, it helps me."

Bruce nodded, glancing down at his forgotten mug. "Then would you mind filling me in? What happened recently? I.. I don't like not knowing. I've woken up too many times not knowing."

Bucky inhaled deeply. He shouldn't be entrusted with such a task really. He was nowhere near as entertaining as Clint or Tony. Nowhere near as efficient as Natasha and nowhere near as diplomatic as Steve... This wasn't a job for him. Not with his feelings in the way. And yet, _yet, he wanted_. So he nodded. "Of course. Where do I start?"

"Our meeting. It sounds fair." Bruce replied. "Besides you wouldn't really know much of my life prior to that."

"You'd be surprised." Bucky muttered lowly. "Okay." He replied, loud enough to be certain he'd been heard. "It all started with an angry Sam, a laughing Steve and me." The soldier said, leaning back in his chair. "I don't know if you remember but I'm the Winter Soldier, I was brainwashed by Hydra for a while." His lips curled in a faint smile at the nod the scientist gave, entirely unfazed by the announcement. "So when Steve and Sam found me, they took me to this high tech country in Africa, Wakanda, where I spent a couple of years to heal. I even raised goats." He chuckled fondly at the memory. "I'm rambling aren't I? You probably don't care about any of that and I—"

"No, no." Bruce interrupted. "It's not just my story you're retelling. But ours. You can add all the background details you want, there's nowhere else I currently want to be."

God, if he wasn't already in love, Bucky would have fallen right there and then. "Well, it turns out, I was needed to rage a war I knew nothing of. Which I did, without questions. And half of the world got erased at the end of the day. But Thor brought us all back after chopping off a purple giant's head. And now he has this metal uru arm. He says it makes us brothers by fate." He grinned. "Anyway, that's where we reach the good part. Our meeting. Sam was basically yelling at Steve for trying to take on someone bigger than him and usually that's my job, but when I did it, Steve never laughed with nearly as much relief and fondness. So I left the two to their own device to go check on Shuri. At least officially. I was worried for the goats." Bruce smiled at the words, lightly shaking his head. Bucky flushed. "It's... Because you see... We, we fought aliens in Wakanda. God knows what aliens can do to animals." He huffed. "Stop grinning so wide. Especially since I found _you_ and Shuri running after the frightened goats. Well, mostly you running and Shuri laughing as she recorded it." Bruce hid his face behind his hands, a smile curling up his lips still, as he bit the left corner of his bottom lip. "It really wasn't that bad. I thought it was sweet that right after the battle, you and Shuri were trying to make sure the animals were okay. And later on you explained that you couldn't bear the sight of more victims. So running after animals under the supervision of a super smart princess was a solid alternative." Bruce nodded, it did sound like him. "Shuri saw me first, and told me to go help you. Which I ended up doing. And you insisted on shaking my hand as soon as you noticed me, setting free two goats you'd just barely stopped." He chuckled. "That was the first time in a while someone was genuinely pleased to meet me, to be honest. It's probably the first thing I liked about you. The complete lack of judgement for my past actions, the lack of flinch when we looked each other or touched. I was just another person for you."

Bruce frowned a little at the words, tilting his head to the side. "What does that mean?" He asked, curiously. The tone was patient, engaging. And Bucky knew from experience that if he didn't want to answer, he wouldn't have to. But he wanted. He wanted Bruce to know what it'd meant to him. What it still, means to him.

So Bucky inhaled sharply, steeling himself. "I," He furrowed his brows. "For the longest time, I thought I wasn't really a person. Just a shell, a ghost of the past." He sighed. "And every time Steve would look at me, he'd search for his past, his Bucky. And I wasn't, I wasn't who he wanted me to be. Which raised the question: If I'm not Bucky, nor the Winter Soldier, who am I?"

"You're alive." Bruce instinctively argued. "You're alive and the rest you'll figure out as you go."

Bucky chuckled. "Yeah, you said something like that in the past too." He inhaled deeply. "But that's not, that's not where I was going. You know what Tony did for you? Just looking at you like you were a person, not a monster, notthe past genius scientist but just, seeing the person you were at that moment?" Bruce nodded, a small smile curling up his lips. "You did that for me. You saw me. You saw a person when I could barely see one. You saw a person in the little memories left and the bits of personality attached to those. And because you saw that person, because for some reason, you wanted to discover that person, I started to want it too. Explaining it to Steve was the most frightening thing I'd ever done. But he's the most supportive friend I've ever had. Steve has been everything to me. Disappointing him, was my biggest fear, even when I barely remembered who I was. But when I told him I wasn't his Bucky, that I couldn't live up to that, he replied that his Bucky was whomever I ended up being, and that he'd be thrilled to discover it with me." The soldier smiled at the memory. "This was the first time I felt like I could actually breathe in the tower." He blinked as the rest of the memory flooded his mind. He couldn't tell Bruce that he'd went to find him right after the talk, couldn't tell Bruce that this had led to the first time they'd kissed. Truly that was poor narration. Boiling down months of friendships and self-discovery to a couple of words about Bruce truly seeing him. The male shook his head, heaving a soft sigh. "I'm sorry, I deviated, didn't I? You don't know much about us, or you, after our meeting..."

The scientist smiled. "I don't know. I thought this was a particularly flattering retelling." He chuckled. "For a while, Tony meant everything to me, he was all I had. And for some reason, that didn't seem to bother him one bit. So knowing I've meant something similar for someone else, knowing I'be helped someone feel like they were a real person even when the feeling feels so intangible sometimes, well, it means a lot. That kind of bond is something you build over months, something you work through the hardships of and have screaming matches about. If the both of us stuck around, despite how volatile I am, I know that whatever we mean to each other is great."

The sergeant smiled, watching the scientist sip on some horrendously tasting herbal infusion. Just by the smell, he could remember the taste of it on Bruce's lips. And it definitely wasn't one of his favorite. But right now, he gladly would've savoured that bitter taste, if he could've sampled it from his mild mannered scientist of a boyfriend. "It is, great. Greater than most bonds I've ever had." He spoke, a wistful speck in his eyes.

"How could it?" Bruce asked, raising an eyebrow. "I could never be Steve to you. And I don't think I'd even want to try."

Bucky let out a chuckle-like breath. "You've never had to be, Steve. I'm not in love with Steve." The admission slipped out, too natural, too rehearsed. It was almost a habit by now, Bucky's default sentence each time Bruce compared himself to Steve, thought of himself as a failure where Steve was success.

The scientist's eyes widened, twitching for a second. "You're.. You're in love with me?" He tentatively rasped out, the words accompanied by a disbelieving short exhale.

"I knew this was a bad idea." The soldier said, standing up. "I'm sorry. Listen, I said it. I mean it. I don't expect anything. Odds are, you'll have forgotten by tomorrow anyway. But let me repeat it: I don't expect anything from you. I never did."

Bruce silently nodded, watching the other male spin on his heels and retreat out of the room. He looked down at the half full mug of cold brew and shook his head. For a genius he certainly hadn't seen something that was so right under his nose. Then again, what was he supposed to do with such knowledge? Bucky was a nice gentleman, good looking sure, but, Bruce didn't really know him. And wouldn't it be unfair to ask to get to know him? What if he didn't fall? What if he did fall? Love. A concept he'd ruled out of his life all together after Betty. Sure, he'd had that little crush on Tony in there, because he was so nice, and so bizarre, existing loudly and unafraid for most part, but private and armored too, at all times. Tony was great to have a crush on because that's all it could ever be: a crush. Being in love? Him? It sounded surreal and unfairly dangerous for his partner. What could have possibly led him to be so selfish? Bruce rubbed at his temples, feeling a strong headache coming up.

"You alright there, big guy?" Tony asked, stepping out of the kitchen with Clint and Steve behind him.

Bruce nodded, trying to recall what he'd been thinking about. Right. His crush on Tony. Shaking his head a silly grin wrote itself on his features the scientist glanced down towards his half empty mug. When had it gone cold? "You sure, bud?" He heard Clint asked, a little frown settling on the archer's features.

"Where's Bucky?" Steve asked.

"Whose Bucky?" The scientist asked back, brows furrowing as his eyes fell on Steve.

"Oh." Clint sighed. "Alright, Steve, come on, let's go and try to find Buck." He clasped a hand on the blond's shoulder, leading him away.

"What's the last thing you remember, Brucie Bear?" Tony asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't really know. It's all fairly hazy..." The scientist admitted. "I think I returned from Niger, and you convinced me to stay. Why?"

Tony sighed, getting closer to sit into a chair next to Bruce. "It's been months buddy." He said, as gently as possible. "Look, Bruce, Hulk swallowed a bomb today to save us all. And the shock forced a transformation back into you. Since you've been experiencing retro and anterograde amnesia. You've lost a couple of months that matter a lot to you. Barnes, is someone that matters a lot to you. Amongst others."

"Who's Barnes?"

"James Buchanan Barnes." Tony filled in. "You've been introduced to him earlier today." The engineer sighed. "Fri, how many hours exactly?"

"Six, sir."

"Grand." Tony grumbled. "Apparently, you can retain new informations for six hours before another reset starts. And I suppose miscellaneous data is probably supplanted as you go. Say a number. If I tell you my number, then Steve's. You'll only remember Steve's."

"I know how anterograde amnesia work, Tony." Bruce spoke, tightening his grip around his mug as specks of green grew visible in his eyes.

"Bruce," Tony put a hand atop of his. It felt incredibly placating. Bruce found that he didn't like it all that much. "I'm not trying to anger you, bud. You know I love you. But I'm worried. Because I don't know much about your physiology. And I'm also shit with words." The two chuckled at that. "But I swear, we'll work on that, yeah? There are methods, techniques that help with this. I, I'll call Shuri. And Helen Cho. Maybe they'll know better. Hell, even the wizard."

"Whose the wizard?"

"Stephen Strange. A weird man." Tony replied. "I bet you'd love him."

"If he's anything like you, it probably won't be the case." Bruce easily quipped back, earning himself a chuckle.

"You love me, Brucie Bear. Hoes come and go, but Science Bros' never let go." The billionaire replied, standing up. "Now come on, let's get you back to your room and you'll get some rest okay?" Bruce shyly nodded, reverting back into that introverted, careful persona who did not want to let on too much. He still let Tony wrap a hand around his shoulders as he led the two of them towards the elevator, noticing that the spark he'd feel every time Tony would touch him was gone. Wilted and reborn was the feeling, something more akin to a familial bond. A surge of relief washed through Bruce as they entered the elevator, realizing that his crush on Tony might just be nearing its expiration date.

~*~

"You alright there, Buckaroo?" Clint asked, stepping on the rooftop of the Avengers Tower.

"Peachy." Bucky replied, peering over his shoulder to check if Steve was there. He pleasantly sagged, noting that the blond wasn't.

"Steve will never know how to look." Clint replied, sitting next to the supersoldier, at the edge of the building. "He's searching for places where you'd go if you wanted him to find you."

Bucky chuckled at the words, pressing his head against the archer's shoulder. "Steve's too good for me. For us."

"Give me a little credit there, Barton." Steve spoke, sitting on Bucky's other side. "I just had to stop by my room to get this." He gestured at the sketchpad he held. "I get it, Buck. Believe me. Right now you don't want to hear nonsense 'bout how it'll get better. You just want it to get better. And if I could fix it for you, I would."

"I know." Bucky replied, eyes trailing to his best friend.

"Let me finish," Steve spoke gently. "I can't fix it. But, I can be there for you, whatever way you may need me. Which includes silently starring into the city skyline just as broodily as Clint does, thank you very much."

"Hey!" Clint interjected. "We don't just stare broodily. We have very deep conversations too!"

Bucky snorted at that. "You know I love you right?" He asked Steve, grinning when the blond nodded. "Then Stevie, you gotta know that it was never about you. You're overall amazing. You've always been so good and patient with me. And I love you. And I admire you. And I want to make you happy. That's why it's hard to mop around you. You look like you're hurting too. Because of me. And that's a sight I can't bear."

Steve's eyes twitched at the declaration. " _Oh Buck..._ " He whispered softly.

"If you start making out, I swear to God I will kick one of you into the void." Clint cut in.

"And that's why I stay with Clint. Because when I feel like I'm dying, he offers to murder me." Panic passed in Steve's eyes for a second, before it faded, noticing the entirely fond gaze of the archer on his best friend. Whatever those two talked about when they were left on their own device seemed to be doing some good for the both of them.

"Still can't believe you haven't tried to ride Hulk's dick by the way." Clint chose to cut the silence with.

"And he makes for a colorful commentary." Bucky added, sitting straighter. "First of all, once Hulk is done smashing things, he just leaves. Because he has no interest in smashing people. Second, Bruce's dick does a fine job." He sighed. "Or did, whatever."

"Oh come on, Buckaroo. You know the doc loves you. You're literally the only thing that ever managed to get under his skin since the Hulk was created."

Steve winced. "Is this another innuendo?"

"Nah dude, I was referring to Bruce's self-control. The only impulsive decision he's ever taken was to march through the battlefield, buck naked to yell at an enhanced supersoldier that he shouldn't use his own body as a shield when Steve actually carries on."

"Oh yeah," Steve spoke, remembering the incident. "You never make out with me when I yell at you for doing something reckless." He told Bucky who just chuckled.

"If you yelled at me, I'd definitely shove my tongue down your throat Cap. It's on the list of things I want to do before I die. I bet you taste like everything great america has to offer."

"Didn't knew nothingness had a taste." Tony cut in, marching towards the small group and sitting next to Clint. "Are you starting a broody boys band? Is Bucky gonna dye his hair blond and get bangs because he's heartbroken?"

"Ah ah." Steve glanced towards the shorter male, looking entirely unimpressed. "Can't you be a little more sensitive?"

"Yeah Tony, can't you see that poor Buckaroo is a little... **_green_** in the face?" Tony snorted.

"Oh my god guys, do I need to write it on a **_banner_** for you to realize he's sad?" Steve paused, raising both eyebrows as a faint smile curled his lips.

"That was so bad." Bucky said, grinning at his best friend.

"Terrible." Tony concurred. "I'm proud of you, Rogers. I'm finally started to rub off on you. Maybe we could even get a little more friction later on."

"Take a ticket Stark." Clint cut in, making Tony chuckle.

"Why would I? Sharing is caring. And my bed can definitely hold us three."

"Ugh, now I might be the one to go green in the face." Steve cut in, letting his head fall against Bucky's shoulder. The dark haired male pressed his head atop of his best friend's.

"Okay, but real talk: Barnes," Tony started, his features sobering for a second. "have you ever ridden Hulk's dick? I mean, you're a supersoldier right? Where are the limits buddy? Why the fuck not?"

"That's what I said!" Clint animatedly replied, launching himself into a heated conversation with the billionaire. Steve and Bucky shared an exasperated glance, rolling their eyes at the two others. And Bucky realized that he had another person willing to alleviate his aches: Tony. Sadly, his method was to annoy the sadness out of people. Tuning out the conversation about his boyfriend (maybe ex, maybe not) and his alter's dick, Bucky starred at the skyline, whispering silly stories to Steve about their past that looked like shared secrets to everybody else. The future was uncertain, and the heartache still there. But it felt a lot more bearable with the right company.


End file.
